Trail Envy in the Capital?

It seems like the Ottawa press, if that's what you call it, is getting its jollies using Winnipeg for its whipping boy these days.

Some male members of the Ottawa media corps have got their panties in a knot because Winnipeg's river trail has usurped the Rideau Canal for the title of the Longest Naturally Frozen Skating Trail in the Guinness Book of World Records. The Winnipeg trail measures 8.54 kilometres, while the Rideau sits at 7.8 km.

Some denizens of Nation's Capital got worked into a frenzy over the news. The Citizen sent over a reporter on one of the coldest days of the winter (and Winnipeggers will be the first to admit that we get a lot of cold days) to trash the city, weather, people and trail.

The reporter ragged on how narrow the trail is and how the Rideau is wide enough to accommodate a game of pond hockey across its width. So, it's length and width that matters? That rings a bell...

And not to be outdone, one of their editors later picked up the torch and called Winnipeg a spa for bugs. Winnipeg's seasons are winter, flood, mosquitoes, dust and smoke, according to the author who once was employed by Winnipeg's second-best paper. And now he's at the second best in Ottawa (Oh but for the Tribune and the Journal...).

Folks, the Rideau is great but we should not be surprised, with all the money spent on grooming it by the National Capital Commission, which probably has a budget bigger than all the support for near-bankrupt farmers on the Prairies.

In fact, this entire argument is moot: by it's very nature a canal is not a 'Natural' waterway. The Rideau Canal is no less man-made than the Space Shuttle.

The whole pissing contest likely started much earlier when the federal government decided to make the Canadian Museum for Human Rights a national museum. The idea for the museum was the brainchild of the late Israel Asper. A large portion of the funding for the facility has been raised privately and from other levels of government. The feds are promising operational funding.

The arts and culture mavens (and civil servants) reacted with disgust as they learned Pandora's Box had been opened. A national museum was opening outside of Ottawa-Gatineau! And now the feds are looking for a new home for the National Gallery and those luddites in Winnipeg are among the bidders. Doesn't the federal government recognize Ottawa's God-given right to be the HQ for all federal cultural institutions and their high-paying jobs?

Relax, Ottawans. Enjoy all the benefits of living in the capital - like shopping in Montreal or dining in restaurants where (interestingly enough) the prices are right in line with meal allowances for visiting civil servants.

Me? I've turned down job offers twice in Ottawa. I'll think of you on my 15-minute bus ride to work or while eating a full breakfast with coffee and getting change back from a ten.