Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, butt not around me

What is it about an outdoor patio that makes it a magnet for every nicotene-deprived soul within 50 blocks?

It was a rare (for this spring) sunny evening in Winnipeg so I left work on time thinking I'd take my library book to a nearby sidewalk cafe and sit down with an iced latte while I waited for my wife before we took the bus home together.

I got to the cafe and jammed into the makeshift sidewalk patio (which stretches maybe 15 feet by 8 feet) were about 15 people sitting at tables, each and every one with a cigarette in his or her hand. One of them actually wasn't smoking - a fellow in a wheelchair who had somehow picked up a butt off the sidewalk and was threatening to get physical with a fellow patio-goer who wouldn't give him a light.

And maybe one third of these patrons was enjoying a coffee or dessert from this establishment.

I have a reason for my bias. I have a 'lung thing" which I probably got from smoking in my youth. It prevents me from doing much more than the average person's daily physical exertion - no jogging, kickboxing, etc. And some of my oldest and dearest friends are smokers and I have no problem having a coffee with them and watching them enjoy a smoke.

But when you get such a herd of them together, in the size and politeness of Boxing Day or Thanksgiving Day bargain hunters, then you have to say enough is enough. It's time for non-smokers to also be allowed to enjoy their day (or evening) in the sun. Leave half the patio, fellas, for those of us who don't want to inhale. And I'll tell the politicians how asinine it is to ban smoking in bars.

But you folks also have to make two other promises: don't hang around the doors of every office building or mall on the planet, and put your butts in the ashtray.

And this is not just a Winnipeg phenomenon. In the past year I've been to both coasts and it's the same, whether you're in Boston or Halifax, New York or Victoria. But there was a guy in Vancouver who smoked something that smelled more...herbal. Maybe if he'd shared my attitude would've mellowed somewhat. Do you think?